OKC Races the NSA To Beat Cryptography

In a dramatic turn of events over the weekend, the OKC/Ver situation that had “gone nuclear” on Friday, appears to be more of a long lasting Fukushima type incident than an atoll test. Read our overview of part 1 and part 2 if you aren’t all caught up.

We thought the story couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but thanks to the public actions of “the leading global bitcoin exchange”, we are in full blown unicorn territory. In what appears to be a move of desperation, the OKC CEO (Star) took to Reddit in an attempt to clear the air. Pastebin is here, in case that post is removed. Ironically, but not surprisingly, this posting only inflamed the situation further.

In what appears to be the only attempt at negotiation OKC is capable of, they are now offering $20,000 USD to anyone who can prove they are right, and Roger is wrong.

OKCoin will reward $20,000 USD to anyone with authentication skills confirming that the digital and hardcopy of v8 are genuine and signed from December of 2014 by our former employee.

Ok, so at first glance that might not seem too insane… but if you take about .5 seconds to think about the situation, is it ludicrous. In summary, OKC is taking on the NSA in their attempt to break cryptography. If you were one of the individuals who failed the Cicada 3301 challenge, here is your next opportunity.

For those of you that are just joining us, the last few days have been a smorgasbord of deliciousness in the drama that makes up bitcoin.

OKCoin, we at shitcoin, would like to ask you the following:

1. Can you show us your cold storage wallet and proof of BTC(XBT) reserves?

This should be trivial, at best. Stop hunts aside, the community wants answers.

2. Do you have an English speaking lawyer that is interfacing with US authorities, to ensure that OKC is in compliance with US regulations?

3. Can you please outline your corporate structure for the community. Mark Karpeles (of all people – and we thank you Mark, in a non satirical way) posted the attached research paper.

We could go on, and on… and on. Let’s just leave it here for now though.

Although short, this post took a considerable amount of time to complete because we kept deleting quality shit in order to keep the butt hurt level down. It probably would have been much more humorous had we left some of the original content, but we don’t want to rock to boat too hard. We are hardcore bitcoin believers, that’s why this shit is so hilarious. Yajun Li, we want to ask you: Have you reviewed the investment contracts that Tim Draper sent over via Googe Translate? How does a term sheet look after you run it through Google Translate? Does Lawsky use Google Translate as well to communicate with OKC? How do you say business suicide in mandarin?